WOULD YOU WANT YOUR KIDS WITH PEOPLE WHO LOST ALL RIGHTS TO THEIR OWN KIDS?

It has been over 7 months now since I have seen or talked to my children. I am getting desperate for help. I am going to apologize to Chris’ siblings for having to go as far as this to try to get help finding my children. I am not going to use any of your names but your story will be here. I am sorry for that! I didn’t want it to go this far but I don’t feel like people are understanding the danger my kids are in.

Everything in this blog is facts from evaluations done on Chris and his 4 siblings taken out of the care of their mother and father/stepfather. I have documentation to back up any and everything I put on here. Why am I doing this? Because as much as I have asked for help to find my kids nobody is responding, so out of desperation for help, that is why I am doing this. Chris is living with his mom, Carole Lynn Eubanks Tolbert McGirr, stepfather, James McGirr, 2 children they had after the other 5 children were taken, (1 in which is/was pregnant at age 16) and another child that I believe Chris was dating. (I also have documentation to back that up). At this point I don’t think that is relevant.

This evaluation was done October 10, 1995 on Christopher Tolbert at age 16. He was in the custody of the Casey Family Program (a foster care agency). Carole and James McGirr were involved with social services since 1981 due to numerous reports of child neglect. Chris and siblings were placed in foster care several times and returned to his mother. However, Mrs. McGirr was charged with abandonment and her parental rights were terminated on October 9,1992. She has not Seen Chris since November, 1989. Chris’ birth father, Frank Allen Tolbert was killed as a result of an automobile accident in 1985. (Chris has told me several times as well as a few friends that his first memory of childhood is his stepfather cutting the brake lines to his dads car). A report from an OCS worker states Chris entered foster care at age 12. Before that time, Chris had been the primary caretaker of his four siblings for most of his life because his mother was “very immature, unstable and irresponsible.” Because of Chris having behavior problems he lived in several foster placements. He was retained in the 6th grade due to failing grades. He was suspended in the 7th grade for fighting with a peer on the bus.

Chris stated that there were gaps in his memory of the past. He did describe physical abuse by his step-father while living with his birth mother. Chris witnessed his mother and aunt being physically abused by men, and took action to intervene. Chris’ stories did not make logical sense which lead the examiner to question the reliability of his statements. Chris may have been describing how he wanted to act rather than his actual behavior. He certainly perceived himself as a “protector” of women and had a very negative view of the adult males in his early life.

According to Chris, his grandmother told him his moth left Chris and his siblings because they were bad and she wanted to start a new family. Chris believes this to be somewhat true. He stated that his siblings were disobedient at times, but also stated his mother was very inconsistent in her discipline and the children would act out. Despite these beliefs, Chris hopes that one day she will return.

Chris tended to rationalize his difficulties at the various foster homes as a result of the foster parents changing the rules to make him more restricted. Chris blamed the foster parents for his own acting-out behaviors . In order to cope, Chris reported he detaches and does not think about things that “hurt too much”. Chris stated that his attitude and anger control were most problematic. He reported he often gets mad for no apparent reason.

Chris denied using any drugs at the time of this evaluation, but reported his mother and step-father allowed him to drink alcohol, smoke marijuana and us cocaine with them when he was 5-7 years old. (Keep in mind D.J. and Christian are 7 and fixing to be 5).

Chris acknowledged hearing voices since age 10 and having one visual hallucination (faint images of ghosts flying around his room). Chris stated that he hears three distinct voices, one woman and two male voices. He described each as having a specific task to help him. The woman’s voice helps him with school work and gives him advice to study and do his work. An adult male voice helps him with doing his chores and looking for jobs. A male peer voice tells him what he should and should not do which Chris calls his own conscience. Chris reported this voices always tell him the right thing to do even though he often does not follow the voices advice and does things that result in negative consequences.

Interview with Chris’ foster mom:

The foster mom described many relationship difficulties between Chris and his peers, especially male peers, Chris had not maintained any male relationships and tended to pester female peers. One female peer had Chris’ telephone number blocked by the phone company to stop his constant phone calls. The mother of another female peer called the foster mom to complain about Chris’ foul language and derogatory comments Chris allegedly made to her daughter. The foster mom Characterized Chris as very immature, keeping many stuffed animals and other childish toys. He is very gullible and she is concerned that peers can persuade him to do almost anything. Chris uses the phone excessively and “meets” girls on the phone, talks to them for a short time and thinks he wants to marry them. Most of Chris’ female friends do not want a romantic relationship with Chris, and , and Chris often interfere in these girls’ relationships with their boyfriends.

The foster mom described Chris as very sweet, bright and a very hard worker. However, “behind your back he is a totally different child.” Chris often lies and uses very foul language to impress peers. On the other hand, he is typically very respectful to adults. The foster mom perceived Chris’ major behavioral problems to include: running away, smoking, getting drunk, missing curfew, allowing others into her home without permission, and not completing chores.

Chris reported experiencing many significant psychological problems. During his childhood, he has witnessed and experienced abuse and neglect. The adult males in his life were abusive and the significant females were inconsistent and ineffective as caretakers. His male sexual identity does not appear to be adequately developed and he tends to be very immature. He has engaged in delinquent acts such as running away, abusing alcohol, and disregarding rules. His peer relationships are very poor. He lacks insight into his problems and blames others for his own problems or rationalizes his deviant behavior.

The Adolescent Dissociation Scale. The ADS is a research instrument currently under development which purports to measure adolescent dissociative symptomatology. However, quantitative measurements norms have not yet been obtained. Qualitative review of Chris’ responses revealed he endorsed item related to getting so deeply absorbed in something that he is able to block out any distractions, hearing voices, flashbacks and memory difficulties.

Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory-Adolescent:

The MMPI-A is an objective test measuring a number of dimensions of personality functioning and psychopathology. Chris indicated above critical level of T=65 (Bizarre Mentation and Cynicism), indicating some psychopathology. His response patterns are characteristic of persons who are rebellious and resentful of authority. Results are also consistent with individuals who tend to make a very good first impression but relationships tend to be shallow and superficial as others become aware of manipulation, deception and unrealistic expectations. Furthermore, Chris’ profile is indicative of a person who is predisposed to paranoia. Chris likely is overly sensitive and views his environment as very demanding and not particularly supportive. He may question the motives of others and may be hostile, overbearing an untrusting in relationships. He may feel that he is being treated unfairly and tends to rationalize and blame others for his own difficulties. He may be experiencing some psychotic thought processes including hallucinations. Other risk factors of this personality profile includes the possibility of alcoholism and other antisocial behaviors. Anger and resentment are common with this profile and Chris may be seen by others as emotionally labile and moody.

He has had significant behavior problems at home and peer relationship difficulties. His foster parents have attempted to modify his negative behaviors but have not been able to find any discipline strategy that was consistently effective.

There are likely a number of factors contributing to Chris’ negative behaviors. Due to the absence of birth family background information, it cannot be determined whether or not Chris is predisposed to psychopathology from a positive family history of organicity. However, it is known that his birth mother apparently was unable to care for her children and abandoned Chris and his siblings. Chris developed a negative view of males from repeated experiences of the significant men in his life mistreating woman and children and abusing alcohol and/or drugs. Discipline for Chris’ own behavior problems was likely inconsistent and he did not learn appropriate consequences for misbehavior. As a result, Chris may view women as helpless and irresponsible and unable to protect him. Furthermore, Chris’ own sexual identity does not seem to be appropriately developed.
Chris now lacks insight into his problems and blames others for his difficulties. He tends to shut off his feelings of betrayal and abandonment which may have resulted in dissociative experiences. He takes a detached approach coping with issues that are emotionally painful and harbors unrealistic fantasies of future possibilities. He is not exhibiting significant depressive symptomatology.

“THE DATA ALSO SUGGEST THAT CHRIS IS EXHIBITING MANY CHARACTERISTICS THAT IN THE FUTURE COULD LEAD TO MORE SERIOUS PSYCHOPATHOLOGY SUCH AS ANTISOCIAL BEHAVIORS, PARANOIA AND PSYCHOTIC EXPERIENCES. HE HAS BEEN UNABLE TO MAINTAIN HEALTHY PEER RELATIONSHIPS. IN ADDITION, HE HAS BEEN REMOVED FROM SEVERAL FOSTER PLACEMENTS. HE IS AT-RISK FOR FURTHER ACTING-OUT BEHAVIOR AND NEGATIVE PEER PRESSURE (I.E., ALCOHOL OR DRUG ABUSE, AND SEXUAL PROMISCUITY).”

Chris’ siblings. Again I will not use their names, but if there is somebody that is willing to help me I am more than willing to hand over the paperwork that I have to prove the kind of people that Chris has my kids living with. The next document I have is first regarding to the 2 girls. The oldest was born in 82 the other was born in 85. Second the 2 boys oldest boy in 83 the other in 86. The younger 4 children show signs of sexual abuse and were put in group therapy for that. The oldest daughter was noticed to be very moody and easily irritated, yells at her siblings, loves to be in the midst of adult conversation, especially men. Her face tends to light up when teenage boys are around. (at this time she is 14). There was an incident where she became so mad that the foster parents she lived with told the Doctors that the next time she threw a fit she would have to be put in another home. The foster mom was scared of the child because of their sizes.

In 1996 they located Carole (the biological mother). They learned that she had given birth to 2 more children, a boy and a girl, since her parental rights were terminated. Chris was told by his biological mother that she wants him to come live with her when he gets to be eighteen years old. Chris informed the oldest girl of this plan and has told her “not to be adopted” and he will come get her or “mom” will come get her when she is eighteen years old.

“Each of the children have a history of severe neglect and likely exposure to sexually inappropriate adult activities. They have a history of sexual acting-out among themselves and are described as in need of excessive attention and nurturance. At various times, each child has shown certain behavioral and emotional disturbances.

The oldest boy. Age 8. He seemed very confused that a previous foster family were his biological parents. He talked about how his parents did not provide food for the children and frequently spanked them. His parents were described as drug users who encouraged marijuana smoking. Their clothes were often dirty and inadequate. He referred to a form of punishment where he was required to stand on his head in a corner.

To the examiner he described how his older brother, Chris, was physically abused by his father. His mother, Carole, was referred to as “ she ate most of the food.” He outlined how his parents smoked marijuana cigarette. He referred to having to stand on his head in the corner and not being allowed to go to the bathroom when needed.

The youngest daughter. Age 6. She described strong negative feelings about her biological parents. These references were about the poor supervision and care they provided the children. In discussion of possible sexual abuse in this child, she stated that at first she recalled her father, Jim, touching her genitalia. She then stated that he touched her vagina with the end of a pen.

The youngest boy. Age 5. It was told that he French kissed the 14 year old daughter of his foster family. And has made similar affectional gestures with strangers. He has also tried to hug and kiss the foster mother inappropriately. It was described how he made attempts to come too close to other and thus, violates their personal space. The foster mother admitted that she and other are uncomfortable with his social style. At times when he comes close, he sometimes moans or makes sensual sounds.

In April 1991, he was observed to touch his genitals in public. This quickly dropped out of his repertoire when he was confronted by the foster mother. About on month ago, ostensibly because he was frightened in the night, he requested to come to bed with the foster parents. Later his foster mom observed him masturbating and confronted the child about it.

This is only about half of the documentation that I have. I hope that my point has been made. The people that my children are with are very dangerous. I AM BEGGING FOR HELP FOR MY BABIES.

D.J. AND CHRISTIAN. I KNOW YOU WILL NEVER SEE THIS BUT I FEEL BETTER SAYING IT. I LOVE YOU GUYS AND MISS YOU SO MUCH. I PROMISE I WILL FIND YOU AND WE WILL ALL BE A FAMILY AGAIN. SARAH AND DALLAS LOVE AND MISS YOU ALSO. D.J. FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY I BROUGHT HOME BALLOONS FROM WORK AND WE WROTE ON THEM THAT WE LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU AND SET THE BALLOONS FREE IN THE AIR. CHRISTIAN I PLAN TO DO THE SAME FOR YOU WHEN YOUR BIRTHDAY COMES.

A MOTHER’S LOVE NEVER DIES, NEVER HAS CONDITIONS, NEVER ASKS QUESTIONS AND MOST IMPORTANTLY NEVER ABANDONS THEIR CHILDREN. MOMMA IS HERE FOR YOU GUYS AND I ALWAYS WILL BE!